A couple of weeks ago I have a mental breakdown, (that's what I called it anyway) and that left me in a right state... I'll start from the beginning, i had been at drama for approx 2 hours and a friend then drove me home, when we got back I sat on the step for a minute cause I had felt a bit dizzy. My friend turned his car around and then as he drove back past the house he slowed cause noticed I hadn't gone in the house yet, he asked me if I was alright a I gave him a thumbs up, because basically I thought I was just fine. Now I knew nobody was in the house and as soon I had got up and shut the door and locked it...
I burst into tears. I suddenly got really paranoid, I had turned every light in the house off and I even barricaded my door. The first thing I then did was to text my friend who had dropped me off and I wrote, " You asked if I was alright. I think I gave you a thumbs up... My answer is no" immediately he messaged me and said "What's up chuck?". And I lost it. I wouldn't talk to anyone else and for about a hour I sat rocking on my bed and saying to myself that "They could see!!" I don't even know who I was on about but I was paranoid. My friend asked me questions and I tried to answer them best I could. So I think if I haven't texted him I might have done something so bad and really stupid.
My mum came back a hour ½ later to find all the lights off and her not being able to get in my room. I managed to calm down enough and for the next ten minuets I would let her touch me. Another twenty minutes after that I was back to normal and if you hadn't seen me or the messages you would never have known I was any different.
I still haven't seen my friend yet cause I only see him at drama and to be honest I'm nervous to see him. But I hope everything will be good between us because the side of me he heard and saw wasn't a side of me I ever wanted anyone to see.
Talk later x
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